Lately, I’ve been realizing that I have a “Are they marriage-worthy?” meter. It bother and terrifies me greatly because I don’t believe in marriage. Maybe it’s more of a “Can I see myself settling down with this person?” meter but still. The fact that I’m actually seeing women and wondering that gives me pause.
After the end of my last long-term relationship and then that 4-month trainwreck last year, I decided I didn’t want to be in a long-term relationship again. But now that I’m 31, I look at the women in my life that I have interest in and I stop and wonder, “is this a person I can settle down with?” Far more, “is this a person I could have children with?”
I don’t want to settle down! I want to have crazy, no-strings attached sex! I want to be able to just go crazy and have fun but I’m beginning to wonder if I still have it in me.
I don’t know. I don’t know whether I’m coming or going. Is it wrong that I want to have fun? Is it bad? Should I, at this age, stop wanting these things? I thought I had a blog post in me, but I’m cutting it short. I’m full of sushi, so fuck off.